True Blood Season 6 Premiere: Evil, Naked Superman, Mr. Happy, and the Pack Master

True Blood returned last night with a vengeance. Sookie, Eric, and their group flee the Authority’s compound with the bloody, naked Bill / Lilith combo (Billith?) in pursuit, at least until he flies away. Clueless, loveable Jason once again has one of the best lines, when he describes Bill as an evil, naked Superman flying above them.

Sam and Luna also escape the compound, but in a shocking turn of events, Luna collapses and dies, but not before making Sam promise to take care of her daughter. Poor Sam has the worst luck with women. At Merlotte’s, Sam (still covered in vamp blood and goo from season 5) begs Lafayette to keep quiet about seeing Sam and Luna’s daughter. This is the only Lafayette scene in this episode, which was disappointing. It’s always a good time when Lafayette is on screen.

Andy’s fairy babies are growing! They go from crying babies to giggling toddlers by the end of the episode. Arlene also takes time to explain to Andy, as he whines about how he cannot handle his fairy litter, that sex has consequences. “When you stick Mr. Happy inside somebody’s hoo-ha without a raincoat on, babies come out!”

An evil Governor? No one has done that before (Walking Dead?). Of course, this is a real Governor with his own twisted agenda. Gov proclaims that citizens should take arms and protect themselves from vampires, but he’s behind the scenes making deals with a True Blood honcho to make use of an abandoned bottling company. Bottling True Blood in Louisiana will bring in revenue and keep the local vampires from eating the regular folk. Political genius!

Bill summons Jessica, and the gang follows. Bill is at home, dressed and freshly showered from his Billith transformation. Sookie’s attempt to stake Bill fails, and even though Bill swears he is simply a new and improved Bill, clearly he is now a super vampire that can survive the true death.

Personally, I love Rutger Hauer, so what a treat to see him in scenes with Jason. Is he the mysterious Warlow? Nora reveals to Jason that Warlow was Lilith’s prodigy in the Vampire Bible, which only adds more mystery to this character. This isn’t Hauer’s first trip into vamp land; he was the head vampire in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, and rumor has it that Anne Rice modeled the physical appearance of her famous vampire Lestat after a young Hauer. Welcome to Bon Temps, sir.

And it wouldn’t be True Blood without some nudity and sex in the woods. Alcide accepts his role as Pack Master, and has a hot werewolf threesome with Ricky and another female werewolf, with Ricky also taking her place as the female alpha in their pack. 

True Blood never disappoints with season premieres. Let’s hope the rest of the season is this crazy, bloody, and sexy.

 

 

TNT’s The Hero: The Rock seduces a Hero…for a Price!

Even though I hate reality shows, I decided to give TNT’s The Hero a trial run. After all, it’s hosted by The Rock (Hello there, handsome!). And he’s in the show a whole lot more than I expected. Unfortunately, the Rock is the only thing that makes this show different from other reality competition shows.

The Hero follows the typical reality show formula of contestants living together under one roof, creating strife, arguing, working together, falling apart, and making confessions to the camera. This episode focuses heavily on the obligatory characters on all reality competition shows: the whiny girl (Athena), the wise cracking black guy (Darnell), and the bad guy (Shaun). This week’s challenge calls for 6 of the 9 contestants (the contestants vote on who is going), to go into the super dirty city of Colón, Panama to find three locations. Shaun, who is fluent in Spanish but somehow not chosen to go into the Spanish speaking city, is ticked that he is not chosen for the challenge.

Part of this show is the Rock offering contestants money at random times. The Rock is waiting in the meat market in Colón to offer Darnell $35,000, but it will mean cutting the team’s time for finishing the challenge. Darnell refuses the money, but the Rock is not done. He calls the Hero Penthouse (yes, that’s the name of where the contestants stay) and tempts Shaun with the same offer. Shaun, who is still sulking over not being chosen for the challenge and thinking of his financial straps, accepts the offer.

And then the Hero really dives headfirst into the competition reality show formula. Contestants are upset that someone took the money and made them fall short of finishing the challenge. Arguing ensues followed by Shaun’s confession for taking the money, labeling himself a hero for admitting to his moment of weakness. Athena whines and cries. Darnell makes wisecracks. Shaun scowls at everyone. The Rock looks gorgeous and says Rock things (can you smell what this show is cooking?).

Darnell is chosen for the Hero challenge (which happens at the end of each show), and this challenge is rather, nasty. Darnell must complete the challenge in the Panama Canal while the trashy water rushes in. The Rock promises to call his Navy Seal cousin if Darnell runs into problems. Thanks to Shaun’s $35,000 fall from grace, which meant a time reduction on the Hero Challenge, Darnell does not complete the challenge of prying open a huge box with hand tools. But he does manage to knock himself in his bald head, resulting in an impressive bump.

Did I mention I love the Rock? He is the bright spot of the show, and I can only recommend The Hero to the Rock’s most loyal fans or fans of this type of reality show. By the way Rock, you wouldn’t need $35,000 to seduce me. Just saying.

 http://youtu.be/8VMxn2Izb6I

 

 

 

 

Hannibal TV Show: Chicken Soup for the Tortured Soul, Morpheus, and Agent Scully

                At a friend’s recommendation, I decided to give the TV show Hannibal a try last night. Bad idea, but not because of the quality of the show. Like Kevin Bacon’s The Following, each episode builds on the previous episode, so viewers should start with the first episode of Hannibal to keep up. And you know what? You will be so glad you did! It’s not easy to create a quality show based off of a movie, especially a movie that was a hit or created a cult following. MASH and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are two of the rare shows to pull off this impressive feat. Add Hannibal to that list.

                I’ve been a fan of the books and the movies all the way back to the 1986 Miami Vice style movie Manhunter, which starred future CSI alum William Peterson as troubled FBI profiler Will Graham. In an interesting twist (at least to me) another CSI alum and good ol’ Morpheus himself Laurence Fishburne has taken on the role of FBI agent Jack Crawford this time around. Perhaps his CSI resume made Fishburne an ideal choice for this incarnation of Crawford, or maybe it’s just cool to cast Morpheus whenever possible. Mads Mikkelsen’s portrayal of Hannibal comes across entirely different than Anthony Hopkins, who played the character with some charm and warmth. This Hannibal seems cold, distant, and quite ghoulish.

                One of the creepiest-as-hell scenes in this episode has to be Hannibal visiting a hospitalized Will Graham and bringing his young friend / colleague some homemade chicken soup. Watching these two characters enjoy a meal that symbolizes comfort and goodness was rather chilling. Does Hannibal really care for Will’s well-being, or is this just another way to throw him off track of Hannibal’s extracurricular activities as the two work together to solve the crimes of other killers, in addition to Hannibal’s alter ego.

                Agent Scully!! Is that you? Yes, X Files fans, the ice queen Gillian Anderson is on board! She portrays Dr. Bedelia du Maurier, Hannibal’s therapist. This makes me happy. Her meeting with Hannibal to discourage him from continuing his “friendship” with Will brought back memories of Anderson’s Agent Scully trying to calmly reason with Agent Fox Mulder aka Spooky. Fans of the X Files should tune in just to enjoy Anderson’s performance.

                When you watch this show, avoid comparing the episodes to the movies. Think of the books. Look at these characters with fresh eyes. However, I love that the young, scruffy Will Graham in the show bears a striking physical resemblance to Manhunter’s Will Graham, whether on purpose or not. The season finale is next week, which is plenty of time for me to catch up on old episodes. I am once again hooked on Dr. Lechter. NBC’s renewing Hannibal for a second season was a shrewd move.

http://youtu.be/8UZE44v7SJg

 

 

               

Game of Thrones Season 3 Finale: Red Wedding Blues & an Awkward Sausage Dinner

Just like past seasons, Game of Thrones dropkicks viewers before the season finale, then delivers a last episode with small rays of hope for the next season.

We see the final insult of Rob Stark’s body (topped with the head of Grey Wind) put on vulgar display following the Red Wedding. Ayra, who is always around when her family and their direwolves meet their ends, witnesses the morbid parade. Viewers see a glimpse of the assassin Ayra will become, when she stabs the soldier for bragging about sewing Grey Wind and Rob together. We last see Ayra holding the coin that Jaqen H’gar gave her in her bloody hands. A Stark moment of triumph, even though a young girl loses her last crumb of childhood.

Is Theon still strapped to that X? It’s easy to pity Theon and the tortures he endures at the hands of Ramsay, Roose Bolton’s bastard. The emotional torture Ramsay tosses Theon’s way during the finale is cringe worthy, as he sensuously eats a large sausage while mocking Theon’s missing man parts. But don’t pity Theon too much; he murdered two boys and hung their bodies at Winterfell, passing off the corpses as young Bran and Rickon. But have no fear! After seeing her brother’s bits in a box, Theon’s sister Yara swears to rally the troops and sail to Theon’s rescue. I hope season 4 opens with Yara showing Ramsay the true meaning of torture.

Bran and company (after Samwell leads the group to a tunnel in the Wall) head to the light at the end of the tunnel (literally). The search for the three eyed raven continues. Bran tells a ghost story that ends with the moral of how the gods will punish anyone who harms a guest under their roof, which gives some foreshadowing (we hope) to Walder Frey’s fate, thanks to the carnage of his guests at the Red Wedding.

Jon Snow finally returns to the Wall, although not in the best shape. After Ygritte finds him and Jon professes his love for her but that he must return home, she responds with her typical “You know nothing, Jon Snow” before firing three arrows into him as he rides away. King Joffrey throws a tantrum during a small council meeting and is sent to bed by Tywin. Sansa cries silently for Robb and Catelyn. Tyrion spouts wisdom and wise cracks.

Jaime Lannister walks into Cersei’s bedroom and whispers her name. She looks up at him. End of scene. Really?

Game of Thrones ends another season with Daenerys, as she crowd surfs the thousands she freed in her latest slave city conquest. Too little use of Dany and her dragons, and while we see Daario standing on a hill, the silver tongued devil remains silent.

Good season finale overall. Am I anxiously waiting for season 4? By the old gods and the new, you better believe it.